從汐留看出去的夜景 - 2007.09.02

Off to my must-use-free-ticket-working-holiday thing today. I was late as usual at the airport. I think I cannot ever be on time for once. I think I like the stress of being late (only at the airport) since the worst thing there is the wait. I seriously don’t know what the heck I’m doing exactly. I can’t believe I’m taking work with me! But I’ve got deadlines to meet and there’s no other way to get out of it (yes, there’s but I need the dough). It’s actually great like this; I get to do things and stay in different places (though all expenses still paid by myself). Working is not the problem. The problem is that I’m still overly obsessed with some guy. I can’t figure out what he’s thinking and I think I am able to send him a tell-all e-mail. I know I can do it while I’m in Singapore since being in an Anglophone country allows me to really “be myself”. I think I should. I can’t stand this sort of self-induced emotional torture anymore. Plus, it’s self-induced, meaning there’s a solution; the only problem is whether I want to proceed with it or not. I think I’m admitting this for the first time in my diary. But I can’t stand it anymore. I got a SMS last night in which he asked me whether I’ve returned home or not (but I haven’t left yet!) It was rare (or never!) for me to receive a SMS from him. Imagine how I feel…that’s why I went crazy all night long, listening to really pathetic music from the 90s only because that would make me feel like a college kid again.

這是要新大阪開的新幹線. 往左邊走會到新橋. 往右邊是去品川的方向.