Pareil...

I think I was right when I said I am happiest in Europe. My friends know it, too. I rarely complain and my face carries a smile 90% of the time (I still have to have some other emotions). I think I am just so happy right now that I am depressed again. I really do miss Europe and my friends. I was writing earlier about how I haven't felt like this since my friend Karin's visit last June. Believe it or not, I am supposed to be an upbeat and outgoing person like this guy or Karin but due to geographical and cultural circumstances, I am unable to do so elsewhere. Really.Everyone's seen me in Europe has also seen a different side of me. The real me, mind you because I feel incredibly comfortable being myself there. Not anywhere but there. Some may say that it's just a psychological effect, it's a game my brain's playing with me but it's not. I don't feel entirely comfortable here in Taipei or in Vancouver (or anywhere else I have been) and most importantly, I don't feel content unless I'm there because, like I said, I am myself completely. It's odd, I know. I have made several attempts to better understand myself. Alas no answer has been found. Perhaps I'll never truly be happy unless I go back to Europe again. It'll be the test of my life. I don't know what will be the passing grade, though. A strange world I live in. Whatever, this thing is more complicated than I thought. And I haven't given any detail about this event. I am just mumbling on and on. I need to because it's affecting me too much at the moment.