Torturing myself with Richard Galliano's Invierno Porteño

I thought I was going to wash dishes and then off to sleep. Didn't happen. I put Richard Galliano's music on and I am listening to it. I am torturing myself by listening to this music.

Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful music but for some odd reason, this music is somehow related to all the bad memories that I have (and a course on repressive memory didn't help much). If I still had my therapist, he'd be mad at me for doing this...

Let me see, what are all these bad memories about? Rejections, unhealthy relationships (which has thus induced me to create this phobia for non-platonic relationships) and a few people whom I had met earlier in life and who, for reasons beyond our control (destiny, I suppose), would not see each other anymore. Jim, a longtime friend of mine, probably the friend I've known the longest, would simply call me pathetic and tell me to stop thinking right away. But he isn't here and I am somewhat prone to OCD (which got me off military service), so I can't help but recall all the unwanted mental souvenirs. Well, not all of them are unwanted memories; a few are more like regrets in life. Like the one with Kristian.

OK, I am thinking really too much and it's 3 in the morning. L'heure au dodo.